Confronting my fears

It started last Wednesday, when Nikki - whom you all know as the publisher of the Low Down - handed me a flyer for tree climbing in the enchanted forest in Wakefield, with these words: “This story is going to be focused on you. I want to know how you feel; emotions, fear…everything”.

Immediately, motion sickness rushed trough my stomach as I tried to conceal the involuntary shaking in my left knee. Climbing a 100-ft. tree was not a good idea for someone who suffers from acrophobia – a fear of heights. Going against every rational thought and ignoring a dry throat that turned every breath into an uneasy gulp, I took the flyer.

Before allowing myself to come to my senses, I called Jamie from Wild Adventures Canada and arranged the climb. One pre-climb lesson and an explanation on the ten different safety aspects later, I find myself standing at the base of a 300 year old white pine tree, trying to convince myself that today was the day to confront my childhood fear, while wondering how I got myself into this.

Jamie gently ushers me into the harness. Strap the shoulders, belt the legs, buckle the chest and tighten the helmet. Quick hug of the tree and I’m on the 40-ft. ladder that leads to the first branches of the ancient white pine.

Left hand, right foot; right foot, left hand; keep looking up. Somehow, I don’t know how, I convince my body to slowly but steadily go up. I finally reach the top of the cold metal ladder and I feel a sense of terror rush over me. I can’t let go.

I think of the safety equipment: harnesses, buckles, the just-in-case extras. But rational thought becomes a distant murmur and my senses start to convince me this climb is impossible.

Suddenly, without thinking, I reach up and grab the first branch. Then, almost without instruction, my body pulls my mind, and its fears, up into the tree. My heart is racing, but I regain full control of my knees, pulling and pushing my body from branch to branch.

I take a breath and look around only to realise that I’ve made it: I’ve actually reached the top! Unexpected screams skip pass my lips and sail across the outstretched valley. Excited, I sit on one of the branches and listen to the empty silence.

The trees flow across the hills in waves of reds and yellows and I once again become aware of myself. My heart slows, my body relaxes and the sensation of warmth and movement return to my fingers. I am completely…calm.

Slightly overwhelmed, a few tears run down my cheeks as I start my decent. Fearless now, I look down and realize what I’ve just accomplished. As my feet become reacquainted with the forest floor I feel strong and alive. Emotional, I wrap my arms around the trunk of the mighty pine and thank it for helping me conquer my fear of heights.